"We wanted to make a difference"
Our fostering journey started because of something my husband, Tim, experienced at work. He was fitting equipment in a house and went into a room where a very poorly two-year-old was receiving end of life care from her foster carers. It really stayed with him.
He came home and said, “I really want us to do this. I want to help children and make a difference.”
That moment changed everything for us.
We began fostering through an agency and were with them for quite a few years.
The first children we cared for came in 2006, a 13-year-old girl and her 9-year-old younger brother arrived. Watching the two of them change over time is something I’ll never forget. The 13-year-old turned her life around, finished school with several high-grade GCSEs, had a successful career and now has children of her own. The 9-year-old slowly found his voice, grew braver, and learned to trust himself. He did well at school and has a successful career. We’re incredibly proud of both.
We also enjoyed parent-and-child fostering, supporting young mums who had never experienced positive parenting themselves and helping them learn to care for their babies. It is something that stays with you. Some of them we are still in touch with now.
In 2015, an 11-year-old girl came to live with us permanently. She worked so hard to fulfil her potential. She’s now at university studying for her master’s degree in psychology. She is confident, bright, sporty, surrounded by good friends, the absolute opposite of the statistics you hear.
Two boys came to us in 2007 as an emergency placement, aged five and two. They had been badly beaten, and the older one couldn’t even walk when he arrived. Tim had to carry him into the house. We fell in love with them straight away, and eventually we adopted them.
After a while, though, something didn’t sit right with us about the agency system. We struggled with the idea that it cost the local authority so much money to offer a child a home, and we didn’t feel as involved or supported as we wanted to be. During Covid, when it was thought there would be a shortage of carers, we transferred to Cambridgeshire County Council, and honestly, it was the best decision we could have made.
The difference was huge. We felt included. Informed and part of what was happening around each child. Communication was clear and direct, and we felt like a valued part of the team. It just felt right.
Among the first children we cared for with the local authority were two little boys who had suffered severe neglect. The baby couldn’t tolerate being touched because he hadn’t been cuddled or comforted before. I remember spending hours lying beside him, not touching him at first, just letting him get used to me. Gradually he would let me move closer and then began to reach out and touch my face and eventually allow me to touch his. We built that trust slowly, butterfly kisses, little moments that helped him realise he was safe. This is so precious, when a child begins to regain trust, especially as such a young baby, and can then start to welcome the affection that they need. Both boys were with us for just over a year when they were adopted, and we still see them now. They’re both doing well.
We then decided to take on emergency fostering. You’re on call overnight and weekends. Children sometimes arrive with the police at three or four in the morning, terrified and confused, and for however long they’re with you, your home becomes their safe place. That’s a feeling you never forget.
We once looked after two children involved in a major incident in the local area. They arrived absolutely petrified. For a week, we were their calm, their fun, their space to breathe. We let them laugh again, cry when they needed to, ask questions when they wanted to, and just be. That’s the heart of fostering, giving children permission to feel and to be themselves without judgement. There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ emotion. You let them express whatever is inside them, in whatever way it needs to come out, and you hold that space for them.
And when a child chooses you as the person they want to open up to, that’s a privilege you never take for granted.
Every child who has walked through our front door has become part of our family, whether they stayed for a single night or many years. Our extended family has always treated them the same, no labels, no differences. Just children who need love, safety, and a sense of belonging.
That’s why we have been fostering for over 20 years. Our latest little baby is the 78th child we have cared for.
Every child deserves to feel safe, valued and part of a family.
That’s why we’re proud to foster with Cambridgeshire, because it feels like working with people who believe the same.
